Friendships formed out of convenience are great, until the situation that brought you together changes. That’s when it becomes clear who will put the effort and who will not. This has happened multiple times in my life, but it still hurts every time.

Yet another reason why being injured sucks. It makes you realize that some friends will only make an effort to see you if it involves going for a run. Since that’s impossible for me right now, it just means no hanging out, period.

As I was getting ready to leave from work Thursday morning, I got a call from St. Paul’s hospital asking me if I could come in that day for my bone scan because they had a last minute cancellation. In a way, I’m glad it worked out like this because little notice meant less time to fret about it. The process is relatively simple, but it’s not one that I’d willingly repeat again.

The scan happened in two parts.

12:45pm (Part 1)
At my first visit, they have you lie down in a bed and ask you a few standard questions - are you pregnant, breast feeding, etc. Then they inject you with a little radioactive dye that runs through your veins.

This explanation helped explain what this radioactive dye does:

“As the dye spreads through your body, the bone’s cells naturally gravitate to areas that need repair. The dye’s radioactive tracers follow these cells and collect in spots where bone is damaged.

After enough time has passed, your doctor will use a special camera to scan the bones. The damaged areas — where the dye has settled — appear as dark spots on the image.”
(source)

They took some initial images that took about 5 minutes to complete and then gave me some questionnaires for me to fill out before I came back for part 2.

1:45-5:00pm
I went to a nearby cafe to do work while I waited for my next appointment. You’re instructed to drink at least 1L of water in between appointments to reduce the amount of radiation my body absorbs and help take better images (at least that’s what I was told). I tried my best!!!

5:10pm (Part 2)
When I went back, they had me lie flat on my back with my knees in the air for 5 minutes while the machine took some images. After that was finished, I had to lie my legs down flat with my toes pointing to the ceiling, and she secured them lightly to a plastic board that kept my foot flexed. The scanner circles around your entire body to form a 3D bone image. That took 19 minutes.

After the scanner had finished, the bed I was lying on started moving me into the back part of the machine, which would take 3D images. This took another 5 minutes of lying still.

It was cold in the room. I could have used a blanket. I was exhausted, and I felt really nauseous by the time it was over. I had to lay perfectly still, so I alternated between staring at the ceiling, and at the timer on a monitor right above me. Emotionally, I was still a mess. The hospital was using its expensive resources to confirm an injury that I GAVE myself from a hobby.

I wish I could understand how this happened (I still hope to get some answers there), because I really hope that I never have to get another bone scan again. Whenever I think back to when it happened, I try to remember if there were any signs that it was coming. The most frustrating thing about this was that I was feeling fine. After my first stress fracture in 2011, I promised myself that I would never run through bad pain ever again. I have kept that promise and have stayed away from bone-related injuries ever since. Until now, obviously. I was not running through pain a long time (2 days, max, and that was me assessing how bad the pain was). I was not running relatively high mileage. I was not running too fast (HR average for those runs were below 150 bpm). I was barely doing speed work. The only thing I was doing was rotating between a bunch of different types of shoes with a wide range of drops. and I did add in some more exercises in addition to running (hiking, new gym routines which were supposed to get me stronger for running!). The most people can say to me is, “these things just happen out of nowhere sometimes. It sucks, but it’s true”. Well, I honestly can’t say that I would have done anything differently based on pain.

That is not a satisfactory ‘reason’ for me. Plenty of people run lots and don’t get stress fractures. I hope to get some more answers soon. I’m in the process of doing some blood tests (they are taking a while as they revolve around my menstrual cycle). I might see a naturopath, since it’s covered with my benefits. I may also see a sports doctor since the clinic I have been seeing over here hasn’t been the greatest. Perhaps I should also re-check my iron levels again since they were low this year.

The Results
I actually got a call from the hospital the next afternoon. I was surprised - I don’t think it’s standard for them to call me directly. Nonetheless, I was grateful to have my results. The doctor confirmed that it was a distal fibula stress fracture. What we expected and I’m actually relieved to know for sure. I hope I never have to feel the same kind of pain again, but I also feel like if I do, I won’t have to get a bone scan again to confirm it.

Next Steps
My physio made it very simple for me. When I can hop on the injured foot for 30 seconds for 7 days in a row, then I can begin a run/walk program. They say it takes an average of 6-8 weeks for this type of stress fracture to heal, and I’m nearing the end of week 6. I did go for a sunrise hike up a mountain yesterday, VERY slowly and obviously I did not run. But my ankle was sore for the rest of yesterday and this morning, so I’m a little worried. Hopefully I did not do any more damage and if all goes well, I might attempt “the hop test” at the end of week 7. Or week 8. Or whenever. In the meantime, I’m going to start going to 1-2 spin classes, and 3-4 power yoga classes for strength. I should probably do more easy spinning or swimming. Maybe the elliptical. I don’t know, I’ll take it week by week. No matter what, coming back to running is going to suck and be hard regardless of what cross training will do. I keep telling myself that I’ll be starting from scratch and as much as that thought sucks, I have to accept it now, otherwise I will have a meltdown later down the road (I might anyway).

So that’s that. My third injury of the year, and by far the worst. Hopefully my last for a long, long time.

I’ve never doubted Mike’s love for me. But my insecurity sometimes creeps up, especially when it comes to my skin and when it flares up, I just want to hide behind my hair and long sleeved shirts and pants to avoid having anyone stare at me. Running / being active helped me focus on something else, so I’d have to put my hair up, and I’d have to wear tank tops and shorts otherwise I’d overheat. And when Mike gets sun burnt or a bit of dry skin, I don’t even flinch. I just love him the same as any other day. 

This past week, I avoided looking in mirrors for days. I could feel my skin was hot to touch, peeling like crazy, and HURTING. I knew it would upset me to see how bad it was. By Thursday, I was so sick of constantly moisturizing my face and brushing flaked skin off my clothes. I don’t know why, but I came home and just stood in our bedroom, staring at my skin and noticing every single puffy and patchy bit of skin. Mike found me standing there, and when he saw what I was doing, he tried to tell me I was beautiful and I just cried. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but I couldn’t believe him. 

So then he pointed to all the pictures of Baby Francis that I have up in our apartment. He asked, “is there ever a moment when you don’t love him when you look at him?”.

No. There is never a moment where I look at him in person or in photos where I don’t think he’s the most beautiful and perfect baby. Sometimes I’ve noticed a bit of dryness around his eye brows and all I think about is kissing them and hoping he’s not feeling any discomfort. I never think he’s ugly, and it’s never hard to look at him. 

If that’s the way Mike feels about me, then I’m incredibly lucky. And I would think that there are many of us who have partners, parents and friends who feel that way about us even if it’s hard to believe it all the time. I needed this reminder. 

@ariavie “Ugh. Darn. Do you see a physical therapist when you get injured? I can’t remember.” 

Yes, every time. It has been a different injury each time which is frustrating but at least I’m not re-injuring the same area? The first two had to do with the left side of my body, and this latest one is on my right ankle/shin. Perhaps from overcompensating, but mostly I think because it was summer and I got seduced by doing extra activities that might have been too much for me to do in addition to running. Live and learn, I guess… 

@healthyontheinside “I hope you have a quick recovery xx”

Thank you! Me too. So far it has been a week, but I’m learning that seems to be the minimum time required for my body to start feeling better, at least with the latest patch of injuries! 

@fitfriendruns 💛

Thanks, as always, for your continued patience when I get down and grumpy from injury. I’m lucky to have you. 💕

Well, I’m currently nursing my third injury of the year. Sigh. It’s the same story over and over again… after my injury in January, I started to get some consistent training in again and then I ended up with a really annoying calf/shin thing on my left side. I took time off, crosstrained, and almost broke up with running because my spirit was so broken and I had no interest in running in pain. 7 weeks of flip flopping and wondering if I’d ever be able to run painfree again, and it eventually faded away. I was strength training three times a week, running mostly solo so that I wouldn’t be tempted to run too fast, and slowly getting my consistency back up there again. Last week was one of the happiest weeks I’ve had in a while - things at work felt relatively stable, I went for a few hikes, and every single one of my runs felt GREAT. When I felt a tiny niggle in my other leg, I didn’t think too much of it. It was so minor, that I brushed it off as one of those “I slept funny” type of kinks. I continued running slow. I bowed out of speed work. And today? I tentatively went for a run to see how things felt. I made it about 4km (2.5mi) until I realized that I was most certainly NOT feeling better. I stopped. I walked. I tried to run a little bit more. Another 2km (1.2mi) later, I realized how stupid I was being as the pain from my ankle/lower outer shin started shooting up my calf. YAY. 

So, I took my time and walked home. I stopped by Granville Market and picked up some groceries for Mike and me. I stopped by a local cafe and invited a few friends to join me for a coffee. I tried not to panic and stay positive… after all, running is a hobby, right? 

A few hours later, I found myself on the couch crying and feeling really sorry for myself. I know it’s early days and maybe this will pass as quickly as it came. But, it’s hard to be optimistic when the last two injuries sidelined me for weeks. I can’t believe how hard it has been for me to string together a few months of consistent training! Like everything in life, this will pass.